Tag Archive : National News

YOU MIGHT BE A JAN SIXER (Opinion)

(with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

You don’t necessarily need to have attacked the Capitol last January 6th to be a Jan Sixer.  The legion of sympathizers and wannabes has only grown since then. 

You might be a Jan Sixer, if…:

  • You like the fact that Donald Trump is a complete a…hole.
  • You’re not willing to overlook that Trump is an incompetent, corrupt, racist.  You actually like that about him.
  • You think Trump would make a great stand-up comic.
  • You think that all 26 of the women who have accused Trump of sexual misconduct should be locked up.
  • You think that the only people more qualified to be elected than right wing talk show hosts are reality TV stars.
  • Your favorite reality TV star is Tucker Carlson.
  • You think that there might be three or four Mexican immigrants that are good people.
  • You have a confederate statue in your front yard.
  • You think that woke is what you did this morning.
  • You took out a second mortgage so you could buy more guns.
  • You like global warming because where you live is too cold.  And you live in Texas.
  • Your kid’s godmother is Marjorie Taylor Greene.
  • You’re on a first name basis with Hugo Chavez’s ghost.
  • You believe that Tom Hanks is a baby-eating child molester.
  • You believe you’re a very stable genius.

You might be a Jan Sixer, if…:

  • One reason you want Trump to be President is you need a pardon.
  • Your attorney is Rudy Guiliani.
  • You want to make voting Democrat a capital offense.
  • You don’t believe that Joe Biden was born in the U.S.
  • You think chanting USA USA is a substitute for genuine patriotism.
  • You wish that Mike Pence was more like Vladimir Putin.
  • You know how to tie a noose.
  • You always have zip ties handy.
  • Your horns match your body armor.
  • You can think of more than one use for a flag pole.
  • You think that everyone should be able to own an assault weapon, unless they are a Capitol policeman.
  • Your idea of supporting police is wedging one in a door.
  • You want to have January 6th made a national holiday.
  • You won’t go snorkeling because you’d have to wear a mask.
  • You think Trump cares about you.

The opinions expressed in this editorial do not necessarily reflect those of KNSJ FM or its sponsors.

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