(with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

You don’t necessarily need to have attacked the Capitol last January 6^th to be a Jan Sixer.  The legion of sympathizers and wannabes has only grown since then. 

You might be a Jan Sixer, if…:

• You like the fact that Donald Trump is a complete a…hole.
• You’re not willing to overlook that Trump is an incompetent, corrupt, racist.  You actually like that about him.
• You think Trump would make a great stand-up comic.
• You think that all 26 of the women who have accused Trump of sexual misconduct should be locked up.
• You think that the only people more qualified to be elected than right wing talk show hosts are reality TV stars.
• Your favorite reality TV star is Tucker Carlson.
• You think that there might be three or four Mexican immigrants that are good people.
• You have a confederate statue in your front yard.
• You think that woke is what you did this morning.
• You took out a second mortgage so you could buy more guns.
• You like global warming because where you live is too cold.  And you live in Texas.
• Your kid’s godmother is Marjorie Taylor Greene.
• You’re on a first name basis with Hugo Chavez’s ghost.
• You believe that Tom Hanks is a baby-eating child molester.
• You believe you’re a very stable genius.

You might be a Jan Sixer, if…:

• One reason you want Trump to be President is you need a pardon.
• Your attorney is Rudy Guiliani.
• You want to make voting Democrat a capital offense.
• You don’t believe that Joe Biden was born in the U.S.
• You think chanting USA USA is a substitute for genuine patriotism.
• You wish that Mike Pence was more like Vladimir Putin.
• You know how to tie a noose.
• You always have zip ties handy.
• Your horns match your body armor.
• You can think of more than one use for a flag pole.
• You think that everyone should be able to own an assault weapon, unless they are a Capitol policeman.
• Your idea of supporting police is wedging one in a door.
• You want to have January 6^th made a national holiday.
• You won’t go snorkeling because you’d have to wear a mask.
• You think Trump cares about you.

The opinions expressed in this editorial do not necessarily reflect those of KNSJ FM or its sponsors.